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burgess hill toilet guide logoBurgess Hill Uncovered Public Toilet Guide
The Martlets

In February 2008, we made a video highlighting the poor state of the Martlets public toilets. The video was so wonderful that the Argus newspaper wrote about it and put it on their website. Magically, just a month later, the toilets were closed and knocked down. By the end of the Summer, a new toilet block was built, but is it an improvement on the old toilets?

The new toilets feature individual cubicles for two men, two women, one disabled and a baby changing unit with toilet.   Each door has a cheap silver metal sign indicating that these are toilets. Sadly, rubbish glue was favoured over screws and the sign has disappeared.
These new toilet cubicles are best described as being prison cells. Don't mistake if for being a wet room though, thats just urine on the floor.   Here is your view if you are foolish enough to actually sit on the toilet. A poster about health and safety would have been an ironic addition.
The stainless steel toilet bowl has a rather pointless rim to it that is supposed to be a toilet seat. It's only useful if you have a fat bottom. No consideration for small children.   This is the fancy technology used to make the toilet flush, it looks like its missing its faceplate. Due to a lack of rubber gloves, the flush was not tested.
Plenty of toilet roll was on offer, perhaps an indication that this toilet is barely used? The metal cover of the casing was dented and hanging down, no longer able to be locked.   The star feature of the new toilets is the three-in-one hand washing unit. Shockingly, it actually dispensed soap!
Only about a year old, and already the building is falling apart. A sign of a leaky ceiling?   Those O.A.P's are at it again, hilariously throwing wet toilet paper up at the ceiling.
The lower keyhole in the toilet door doubles up nicely as a peephole for all the perverts out there.   Public toilets wouldn't be complete without a bit of graffiti. The door mechanism has the word 'GAY' etched in it.
Summing Up
The Good
The door locks.
It had toilet paper.
Nice hand washing facility
Wall tiles were clean.
  The Bad
The soaking wet floor.
Disgustingly strong smell of urine.
Poor excuse for a toilet seat.
Broken toilet roll holder
The peephole
Cracks in the ceiling
Final Rating: 6 out of 10 Toilet Rolls

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