Cactus Gardens
How does one judge a fine flower? Perhaps the delicacy of its petals or its sweet aroma? Not if you are Burgess Hill Town Council. Then you adjudicate on how water efficient the gardener has been.

The council's Burgess Hill in Bloom competition is now to be judged on the participants environmental friendliness - the use of water butts or drought resistant plants. Where are we? Saudi Arabia?

Of course the water companies are delighted and praising the organisers, as you would if you had a commodity whose scarcity increased your profits.

Wet Tories
Now that David Cameron has visited Norway for a laughable photo opportunity on a husky sled and in front of a melting glacier, we have news of the Tories latest environmental wheeze.

Nicholas Soames is supporting his party's proposed 20mph speed limit on cars in residential areas. We are told that this restriction reduced the number of accidents when introduced in Bognor in 2004. Yes, I'm sure it did. After all, with such a ridiculous restriction, it's quite likely that pedestrians will be able to speed away on foot from any car before impact.

No-one suggests any restrictions on cyclists with their stupid-looking helmets that I hate. One cycling enthusiast said on radio recently that, like most road users, they obeyed the laws.

One of the laws is of course that they are road users, and not a menace to pedestrians. I have heard them complain that they have to ride on the pavements because of the amount of traffic. If you obstruct them on the pavement they seem to think that it is you who is breaking the law. Once annoyed, I refused to get out of the way. They so expect pedestrians to jump aside, the cyclist was shocked and had to slam on his breaks.

It's all very well old-Etonian Cameron cycling to Westminster, but let's not forget that behind him is his chauffeur-driven car carrying his briefcase. Leave the 30mph speed limit as it is.

Burgess Hill FC
The club ground at Leylands Park has been removed from a list of proposed housing developments. That's at least for now. A consultation on proposed housing development sites offers the public the opportunity to nominate potential sites. So don't be surprised if the threat returns.

There has been a meeting at the Triangle - the outcome of which I don't know - on the lights at the ground. The complainants are the usual suspects, including Tim Wickham.

Frank Milligan says: "We have submitted a proposal that we have no objection to Burgess Hill Town FC playing cup matches to ten o'clock, providing it's Burgess Hill's first team playing, and not any Tom, Dick or Harry."

Are we supposed to think Mr Milligan generous that he and his ilk, having caused £10,000 of fines to the struggling club, have decided that they might allow the players to comply with FA rules? Does he not realize that the future of the first team might depend on the playing of matches by "Tom, Dick or Harry"?

What gives away what is really going on, and how a vocal unrepresentative minority is causing the club misery, is when the Middy states that "nearly 100 standard letters of objection and two individual letters were sent to Mid Sussex Council." Yes, "100 standard letters", no doubt copies of the same template suggested by the troublemakers. Yet, only two people had any original ideas of their own.

Tim Wickham says the club "need to move somewhere where they can't be such a pain." No, Tim, you do!