Schmallenberg Square
And you thought our councillors wouldn't make any comments about Mid Sussex Into The Future. Well, Heather Ross, vice-chairman of Burgess Hill Town Council has made a contribution. She has suggested that somewhere in the plans for the town redevelopment be found a place renamed in our German twin town's honour.

This comes after she attended the latest jolly (sorry, I meant to say "cultural exchange") and visited our European chums. There is a rather odd picture of bemused Schmallenbergians watching the dedication of Burgess Hill Platz in the Middy. "Who are all these old biddies in chains?" they must have asked.

I wonder if our European pals are as equally indifferent to twin towning as we are. I never forget back in the mid 90s walking through St John's Park at past nine one weekday evening (thrill seeker that I am) only to find a synth duo playing Jean Michel Jarre tunes to a completely empty park. The council had booked French entertainers, but forgotten to advertise the concert.

Mobile Risk
Don't want to go to work today? Then why don't you phone up and complain that your health has been affected by mobile phone transmitters? Seem ridiculous? Not if you are Nancy Towers from Balcombe, who has organized a 250 signature petition against Orange's proposed mobile phone mast in Balcombe. She says that there is evidence that masts cause a health hazard when sited within 400 metres of people.

Now, back to my knowledge of radio. The higher the frequency the shorter radio transmissions travel. Radio 4 Longwave needs only 4 transmitters to cover the entire UK. But mobile phones are using frequency thousands of times greater and need thousands of masts to cover the same area. So to be 400 metres from a mast is not feasible if you want to use a mobile phone. If you receive a signal for a mobile phone you are almost certainly within 400 metres of a mast.

Now, do we want mobiles or not? I thought I was alone in arguing that since everything carries some inherent risk, then masts were worth putting up with. However, Father Steven Malkinson, chairman of the school governors at Balcombe CE Primary School, has refused to sign Mrs Towers petition. He says: "It seems as though this single antenna is of very low power, and appears to be needed for people to receive 3g while travelling by train." Father Malkinson is very brave. I bet he has to contend with rants that he doesn't care for children's health etc.

Electronics engineer, Robert Philpot, of Horsted Keynes points out: "It is better for users that they are as near as possible to a mobile base station as this means that their phone - which they are holding next to their ear, and thereby their brain - will be transmitting at the least power possible to complete their call." He lives near the proposed site of a mast, and I live within sight of an existing one.

Celia Vince of Horsted Keynes says she is kept awake at the thought of a mast near her house. I don't mean to be cruel to people like her but, just remember, at much higher frequencies than mobile phones are satellite television and radio stations. Hundreds of signals are beamed down to earth at any moment of the day, and there ain't anything between you and them apart from the clouds. And if it's a sunny day...!

If you want to keep in touch with your child at Balcombe CE Primary School, I hear Tesco sell an excellent range of cocoa. All you need is a ball of string and two empty tins and hey presto!

Road Safety
Are our local papers sponsored by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents for, if it's not mobile phone masts, then it's road safety. Mother, Sarah Comley, of North Chailey urges speed restrictions in her village. Understandably, she is upset that her son, Jack, was run over when crossing for the school bus.

However, Jack doesn't seem to be entirely blameless. The Leader says, "Jack Comley...stepped out into rush hour traffic." Well, perhaps he should have stayed on the pavement then and waited to cross?

Then Mrs Comley says that parents have started taking their children to school by car. Oh, that's some help, the wax jacket and green welly brigade of Chailey get into their four by fours. Their children won't get run over now, only other people's.

Mrs Comley wants the speed limit reduced from 60mph to 30mph and for children crossing signs erected. Well, if the driver was doing 60mph Jack wouldn't still be alive anyway, so what's the point? And what ever happened to road safety campaigns for children? Shouldn't children be taught how to cross safely? It's as if children have no responsibility and are now supposed to be regarded as a hazard for drivers, a bit like road humps only with a greater crunching sound when you drive over them.

Anyway, Jack's done alright. A collection raised £450 for him and he now has a Sony PSP.