Breastfeeding
The Leader's main story is about social attitudes towards public breastfeeding. The local NHS trust is committed towards the promotion of breastfeeding, and in the article several mums complain about negative public reaction when they have tried to do what according to Clare Bellamy of Haywards Heath is: "the most natural thing in the world."

Well, there are a lot of natural things in the world, like vomiting after drinking too much, pissing in the street and masturbation. However, I would rather not see these things, and that goes for breastfeeding as well. I am sick of being told that just because the average age for a child stopping breastfeeding is four, that social attitudes are strange in Britain. The opinions of people from countries which have female circumcision and live in huts waiting for the next Red Cross handout, I really do not care for.

Kinga Fogarasi says she grew up in Sweden, admittedly not a country in receipt of international aid, where she says it was considered natural. I don't care. If you want to use breast milk, get a pump and then you can feed in public. Otherwise, I don't want to see your subnormal 4-year-old sucking-away on your lap, just because you won't teach him how to use a cup.

Comedienne
You know how, if you tell a joke, you ruin it if you laugh. Well, have the Martlets Hall or Clair Hall booked this local talent? Christine Field, leader of Mid Sussex District Council, says of the 4.8% increase in council tax (twice the rate of inflation) that: "We are mindful of the burden of council tax, particularly for those of fixed or low incomes. I am sure most residents will feel that...the charge continues to represent sound value for money." She said all that, and didn't even crack into a smile! Victoria Wood stand aside.

Mobile Phones
Balcombe yokels are complaining that Orange wish to put a mobile phone mast "only" 250 metres from the local primary school. Janet Kehoe, vice-chairman, of the local PTA says: "We are living in an area with acres of empty farmland with nobody living near it. It seems ridiculous to place a mast only 250m from a school."

Let me explain, Janet. The mobile companies do not place masts to give children cancer, but to maximise signal strength to mobile phone users. Radio waves may have some health risks, but the convenience provided by this technology makes the benefits outweigh any negligible danger. If you own a cordless phone, a computer with a Wi-fi connection or a pair of wireless headphones, you are sending high frequency radio signals around your house and are in far closer proximity than 250 metres.

Mobile phone companies put masts near as possible to where people are likely to want to receive a signal. What would the point of putting the mast in the middle of your empty farmland? No doubt, these same worried parents of Balcombe Primary School give their children mobile phones in case of emergency.

It is possible to find out the approximate location of any mobile phone using the internet. It was mobile phone records which helped convict child murderer, Ian Huntley. So, if these parents win and prevent the erection of the mast, don't let them complain when they are in a blind panic because one of their children has gone missing and they don't know where they are or how to contact them.